Daycare

As I went through my big list of blogs this morning I found this picture that immediately broke my heart at Natural Papa . I don't think a bigger statement could be made about children in daycare. It just strengthens my resolve to spend as much time as possible with my daughter. Financially things are pretty stressful, I work constantly to save the family money and pay off our debt. I just always need to remember that the most important thing isn't our house or our car or even the bills, it's my girl. She is the best thing I've ever done (I tell her all the time). She saved my life. She rocks my world. Chief and Little Miss are my everything and my world. No job could ever justify losing that. Life is short, it's about the journey.

Long Day

Today was a long day.

We bought new sand equipment and headed for the park. At the park Little Miss went down the big curvy slide alone for the very first time.

When Chief got home I went for a nice long walk and as soon as I walked across the street, Little Miss grabbed my hand for a walk, waved bye to daddy and took me out on an adventure. We went to big tree of course and then walked around the field. We made a bouquet of dandelions and LM found a "big tree" (branch) that we had to drag home.

When we got home we made flax muffins and then headed to the yard to dig for worms for our wormery. Worm digging was great fun. We played with the worms and the dirt for at least an hour.

And now she sleeps...

How many times do I need to remind myself to sllllooowww down? It seems daily. I need to find something to put on the wall in my bedroom so that when I wake up in the morning I remember. Little Miss moves slowly, she "dawdles" as some say. She sees every little thing and spends great amounts of time examining or trying to, as I say "run, run run" or "can you show me where home is" or "we've got to get to the big tree". Why? Why do I do this? Once we get to big tree apparently I need to rush to the next thing.

I blame myself of course but the truth is it's just the way my generation was molded in their early 20's. Ahhh yes, I'm an Xer. At home as a kid there was a lot of free play, we went out in the morning and came home only if injured, called for dinner or the street lights came on. Summers were the best, home with mom, playing with all of the kids in the neighborhood.

So why do I rush my girl? It's a bad habit but a habit that needs to be broken. I need to always remember that once I get to a destination I will just rush to another and none of it is necessary. The truth is that my family does not live a complicated life and we really have no where to rush to.

As I read on a lot of other blogs I need to slow down, embrace the time I have with her, enjoy the blades of grass and make peace with being led around by my beautiful girl.

After all, we have no where to be but together.

Little Miss and I spend a lot of time at "Big Tree". This tree near our home has become a marker for us, we walk to the tree almost every evening and she looks for it. "Big Tree gone" she'll say when it hasn't appeared on the horizon yet. Last night we walked to big tree and my beautiful girl wore a sundress and her pink snow boots with a green barrette in her hair. I stopped in the field as she looked at the jet streams and waved to the birds and told the breeze "bye-bye" and I tried to etch every second in my memory. How could I ever forget these beautiful moments. I want to keep them forever because I know soon enough these moments will be gone, she will never be this age again. Turquoise dresses with pink snow boots will no longer be in fashion someday. My beautiful girl will be gone and so I drink every moment in. I sometimes wish I had 10 kids so I could keep having these moments over and over again.

My Girl

Oh, I love my girl so much. She's been down with a nasty cold but this evening she had that "I'm getting better" energy. We went for a walk and came home to blow bubbles. Watching her is pure fascination, she looks at everything through eyes of wonder and so intently. She is so unashamed, she stares until she figures it out or decides if she likes the person or not. She is so bossy (hopefully she'll outgrow that). She tells dogs that bark (anywhere) "hush doggie" and is so serious. She tells us to MOVE and then quietly adds please. She is funny and bossy and wonderful. She is a light. We are so lucky to have her in our life. She saved me for sure.

I am finally adjusting (after almost 2 years, don't let anyone tell you postpartom depression lasts a short time) and I could not be more thrilled to be a mom. My perspective has shifted, I used to think I was a part-time worker and a mostly at home mom. My work was my job...now I've figured out that my girl is my job. There is no job for me except taking care of my family. The part-time work I do is money and that's it. Every moment with my family is a moment to treasure. I want to thank Sarah at Clover Lane and Rhonda at Down---to---Earth for their encouraging posts.

Mostly I would like to thank my mom for being the kind of mom that all moms should be: encouraging;kind;live by example;hug;care;nurture;pouring on the love when needed and so much more! She was there at school for the Mother's Club, she was a room mother, she dressed as a clown. She "babied" us, you know by staying near us, doing her best to guard our innocence, not working so she could be home and do all the great SAHM stuff, etc.
Mom didn't work which meant no extra car, no extra money, even food stamps for a while but until the mean kids at school started making fun of my lack of Guess jeans or Keds shoes or whatever the trend was I would have never thought that I went without anything (truth be told we didn't). Grandma and Grandpa (living nearby as all of our family did) helped out as much as they could.

And I survived...happily.

A Wake-Up Story from Healthy Child Healthy World on Vimeo.

Unschooling

Like most people I never had much reason to think about the education system in this country until we had Little Miss. The Chief and I both have a very negative view of "education" in our area. We've both been in private and public schools and we agree with neither system. He had a lot of trouble in school, he was misdiagnosed with learning disabilities, had other disabilities that weren't diagnosed, embarrassed, bullied and generally abused. I was bored, so bored that I spent my high school years getting in trouble instead of getting an education and since I didn't make waves at school no one ever said a word. There was never discussion about the fact that I wasn't living up to my potential or that I should skip a grade or start taking college level courses. There are a lot of other things I could go on about, but I'll stop here for now.
The truth is that our girl is very smart and wonderful and funny and beautiful and I don't trust her education in the hands of an underpaid, overworked, annoyed test teacher (because that's what they do now...teach testing). My husband is not totally sold on the idea yet but we've had discussions about our lack of faith in the current system. We want our girl to keep her sense of wonder, to explore her world, to be confident and to keep herself (most of all this). She is a learner by nature (all kids are), she craves knowledge and I think that makes her a prime candidate to unschool. Now, to convince my husband...